When I walked out of my house in England back in 2004 to go and run a project for 18 months in Malaysia I thought I'd be back sooner rather than later. I never imagined that I'd still be working overseas 12 years later.
But all good things (and bad) must come to an end. Back in 2004 I didn't really want to leave the UK but did because I felt an obligation to run a project that I said I'd take on if the company were to win it. So I did the right thing.
It's amazing, and four countries later, how the last 12 years have passed by so rapidly. However, for a number of reasons fatigue has set in and a yearning to return back to the UK became my ambition, if not a minor obsession.
I think that when working overseas there are 3 broad reasons for doing so. Take away one of those reasons and you're starting to waver. Take away two of them and you're already thinking about packing your bags and take away all three and you're already on the plane.
These 3 reasons are:
- Who you work for an how much you like working for them.
- Where you work and how much you enjoy that environment
- The people you work with and socialise with and how much you enjoy their company.
For me, items 1 and 2 were already dead in the water. Item 3 wasn't a problem because I had great people working for me (the company I worked for always made the mistake of thinking that they worked for them but they were employed by the company but they worked for me - it'll be interesting to see how that now pans out).
As for item 2, I'd grow tired of Subic Bay and the Philippines in general, and I think that's reflected by the tail off in postings on this blog. I was tired of the heat and the corruption, the complete disinterest in the place from the local government and their pettifogging bureaucracy. Yes, I know we have the same problems in Britain but they then become our problems that you might be able to do something about, rather than as a foreigner feeling completely impotent about what goes on and wholly unable to bring about any change. So it's either a case of like it or lump it when you're overseas. And despite having my own place there, it never really felt like home. The truth is I was suffering from culture shock, which affects far more people than you might imagine.
I first read and began to understand properly culture shock from reading a Lonely Planet guide book on Taiwan. Everything the author described I've seen take hold of so many people working overseas. This is why one should never consider a holiday in a foreign country, no matter how many times you may have visited it, as a good grounding for going to work or live there. It's different. Totally different. And different people react to it in different ways.
As for item 1, well for the most part the head office left me alone for the best part of the time I was in the Philippines, which suited me fine and everything was going swimmingly well. The projects I managed were well run and very profitable but despite this, in 7 years I didn't receive a penny extra in bonus or gratuity for my efforts, which I grew to resent. Yes, I had a good team behind me but they were a team that I largely brought into the company or I vetted and over time thinned the chaff from the wheat to create a good crew.
Furthermore, despite being told that the Philippines were the model that the company should adopt for the rest of the projects I could see more recently a backward slide into the Philippines being absorbed into doing things the Singapore way, rather than elevating themselves into doing things the Philippines way.
The straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, came after one extremely frustrating trip to site in Cebu that was followed up with a birthday weekend in a very, very pleasant resort in Moalboal. On the return trip to Subic we left the resort at 7:30am, and bearing in mind the flight from Cebu to Manila is only 1 hour with a couple of hours either side getting to and from the airport, we didn't arrived back at Subic Bay at 11:30pm, all largely due to typical Filipino inefficiencies, incompetence and indifference. That took the edge off what was a great weekend, along with some petty dispute with my Singapore office so that's when I took the leap and resigned the next day. It was like a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.
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| Joys of Moalboal |
In the UK I intend to live in my house and watch the garden grow, but only once I've removed the 12 years of bind weed and deleterious garden matter that has accumulated over the years and attempted to make a lawn again of the grassed areas after one tenant turned it into a football pitch, followed by the moles and rabbits having their turn at converting it into a battlefield.
I intend to get involved politically, albeit at a low level. The most important referendum regarding Britain's future that will happen in my lifetime, as I see it, is rapidly approaching and I intend to actively campaign for the Leave side.
When I tell the people I know I'm returning to the UK most seem to act like it's a permanent decision, like once you've decided to do it there's no going back. I don't see it that way. In a year, or less, or more, I may decide this life isn't for me and I'll look to go abroad again. The only thing that is patently true is that change usually doesn't happen by itself, it's up the the individual to make change happen. And only through change can you truly appreciate what lies on the metaphoric other side of the mountain.
